Anonymous

a·non·y·mous ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-nn-ms)
adj.

1. Having an unknown or unacknowledged name: an anonymous author.
2. Having an unknown or withheld authorship or agency: an anonymous letter; an anonymous phone call.
3. Having no distinctive character or recognition factor: “a very great, almost anonymous center of people who just want peace” (Alan Paton).

Look at this anonymous individual! I'm blogging specifically for you. Who are you? Andrea and I are dying to know. (ps: who is alan paton and what does it even mean to have a "recognition factor"? Maybe its just all the Christmas nog I've been enjoying, but that last one just doesn't make sense.)

Christmas Crazies

I saw a girl listen to a poinsettia yesterday. I'm not joking, I thought long and hard over this one and the only explaintion for sticking her ear right up to the flower, was to listen to it. She then looked at it with admiration, plucked a few dead leaves off (in a 'mother-grooming' manner) and departed.

Just thought I'd share.

Classy Ladies

Audry Hepburn
Doris Day
and
Grace Kelly



I figure I need to take another jab at my professor, and so I am blogging on what a classy lady is.

A classy lady is not:
a drunken professor

A classy lady:
1) crosses her ankles
2) always has a dainty handkerchief to dab away any unpleasantness in life
3) never has photos in color

I think the best way to explain exactly what a classy lady is is to show the three classiest movie stars ever who probably weren’t that classy in reality, but were usually the epitome of classy on stage. (classy)

(Lets be honest, I just like these pictures and wanted a way to put them online.)

As a side note, I heard that Audry Hepburn was such a po-dunk that she always wore a horrible pair of coverall jeans to set, so someone stole them hoping that she'd wear something else, but she just walked around set in her underwear around a bunch of press! isn't that awesome! I've changed my mind about classy ladies. I want to not by like my professor, but not be like Grace Kelly who was way too much of a lady, and be right in the middle with Audry.

Satan called me this morning

This morning Hillery and I were rudely awoken (at all of 11:00am). Neither of us being conscious enough to find a phone, we eventually stumbled around to check who called--a 1-800 number. Being a somewhat angry person, I swiftly went back to bed and started plotting ways to make telemarketers lives miserable, I came up with this list.

1) Say "no, go away. And it's MISS Elkink, not Mr. Elnick." This generally doesn't seem to work as I believe the employees have IV's of Prozac pumping into their arms to keep them resilient to all the hatred directed at them.
2) Hang-up. This is just not satisfactory...they deserve worse.
3) Pretend you don't speak English. I have seen this performed. It is very funny. Throwing in comments like "my husband is dead" or "what's the internet?" increases the intensity of amusement, but you must be able to keep the laughter under wraps, and I just can't do that.
4) My new creation...start selling them something of yours. The dialog would go something like this:

telemarketer: Hello Mr. Elnick, I'd like to tell you about our new calling plan
me: It's MISS Elkink, and I'd like to tell you about an amazing new knife set.
t: ummm...ok...so the calling plan is only $1354.99 a minute and...
m: well I've got you beat there cause the chop-chop knives are only $99.99 a minute! and I'll throw in a demonstrational video of how they can cut through cans, and then tomatoes with ease.
t: maybe this is a bad time to call?
m: not at all! I was just sleeping, watching TV, having a shower, eating dinner with my deaf, blind, mute Grandmother, and giving money to the poor. You couldn't have picked a better time.


So obviously my best ideas come to me in a half-sleep induced state and not in the shower like regular people. However, I highly suggest we all try this new approach to the EVIL telemarketers, and you should probably let me know how it works out for you.

A classy event

High class people. High class.

Friday night I attended a commerce formal. Everyone dressed up nicely, cocktails, fashion show, the works. Most people left shortly afterwards leaving about 20 of us standing around talking as the lights came on and they started cleaning up. It seemed, however, that my one professor did not feel like letting the party end. Trashed out of her tree, she starts falling over the 5th student of the night, pawing him, talking sex, the whole deal. Attempting to give him her number, she dumps her purse in a girls lap (who was also drunk, and apparently angry). You guessed it, cat fight. Two boys had to pull them apart! My prof was thus not only hitting on all boy students, but picking fights with the girls! Oh me oh my, why hasn't she been fired?