Work

I wanted to describe the people in my newest work place and I thought I should do it now, before I get sick of work and don't want to think about it anymore. There is a definite hierarchy at the restaurant...I figure because I'm aware of it, and laugh at it, I'm not in it. A non-partial individual, ready to label people (as I'm rather fabulous at doing).

1) Sharon--"The Bitch." Every workplace needs someone that is wholly offensive, bossy, and down-right mean. "The Bitch's" are the starting point for most hierarchy's as staff unite best over common bonds...hatred of over-aged waitress' being the most effective.

2) Rick--"The Floater." As my sister has duly noted, managers are like floating jelly-fish that never actually do anything. They meander about trying to look important so that no one can tell their job is pointless and the money that pays them should be given to feed the starving children of Africa.

3) George--"The Guy Whose Ties are Always 3 Shades Darker Then His Dress Shirts, But Still From the Same Color Pallet." (enough said).

4) Scott--"The Angry Chef." Please refer to a few postings ago to learn about this spicy individual.

5) Peter--"The Cool Old Guy Who Can Whistle like a Bird." Peter is awesome, he has an uber thick Greek accent and he's nearly impossible to understand. He says things like "My teeth are not as sharp as they once were." And "Where's your boyfriend?" (As if he expects me to have this mysterious man tied to my apron strings, thus joining me at work). Peter is a favorite.

6) The Bussers--"A Collective Army of Under-Agers." These individuals pretty much don't have names at work. They get called "hey you...clean this table." I feel sad for them...having been such an underling...but they are mostly ignorant of their vastly low place on the feeding chain.

This pretty much covers most personality types at work, other then the servers, who are obviously the coolest and best tempered.

DISCLAIMER: if anyone from my work place happens to read this, please note I should not be fired for telling it like it is...and in such a humorous manner as well.

Life Aquatic

Just watched Life Aquatic. Very Royal Tennenbaums...I liked it.

Canada's going down the drain

I'd love your comments on the recent Canadian political occurrences. I'm disgusted, and once again considering moving to the U.S./hoping Alberta will separate! In your opinion, what's in the future for the country? What do you thinks going to happen during the election in 10 months? Or are you happy about this?

The Salad Nazi

Some of you may remember angry camouflage man. Well, tonight I met angry Chef man...he was even scarier! He has an inverted go-tee (basically a beard with the go-tee part shaved) and he yells...all the time...especially when he comes into work drunk! That's right ladies and gentlemen; I work with an angry-drunk-inverted go-tee-chef man. He started refusing to make salads after a while. I've started praying for him...but I'll be honest, I mostly just laugh. (I'm bad).

The Hunt

Apartment shopping is like going on a safari. First the individuals involved dress up in ridiculous outfits (creepy tan colored shorty shorts and hats/dress clothes to impress renters or rentees). Everyone looking bundles into a jeep and sets off in hope of spotting the prized animal (lion/hot apartment). If one of the individuals in the jeep is lucky enough to see the leopard sleeping in the tree/the nicest and cheapest apartment in town, they try not to scream and wake the leopard/let other seekers compete for the hot apartment they found. This strange phenomenon continues for hours, days, weeks, and for the brave at heart, even months. The other aspect is the people trying to sell the safari/apartment. "The trip to the Krugar National Park is definitely the nicest, lots of leg room in the plane, 600 count sheets in your hotel, and a guarantee of 7 different species to be spotted on the actual safari." vs. the apartment pusher "New carpets, fresh paint, 2 WHOLE windows, fire extinguisher, hot plate, and air."

Its a jungle out there either way people!

My seestar

Some of you know Miss Meghan, some of you her just because I talk about her all the time, some of you need to know her. She has a blog now!! Excitment for ALL! And you should check it out. Shes a hot med student and has great stories always.

Hot Meghan Blog

Train Bridge

In Saskatoon there are many bridges, but one in particular that I love: the train bridge. Today Kjersti and I went on a walk across it and through much hope, we managed to produce a TRAIN on the train bridge! It was soooooooooo exciting. As exciting as a ride in the fair...perhaps the roller coaster! It went super fast at first, then slowed down enough so that we could lean over and touch it without disembodying our arms. With black smudges on our fingertips to prove it, we happily descended the stairs back to the car, thoroughly rattled and windblown. The excitement in this town never ends!

Mulder & Scully

The X File crew came into the restaurant last night. Not the cast of the show, oh no! Some much more interesting people. One of the waitress' comes up to me and says "oh no! Mulder and Scully are here! I'm avoiding them--they make even ME look normal!" This was a feat. Mandy* then explained to me that they always had 3 new conspiracies to tell her about. The nickel in the water, the plots of the government, the list went on. Minutes later the hostess came by and told her Mulder and Scully had asked for her service. The scream that protruded from her lips was more terrifying than the screams of X Files watchers. But the story doesn't end there! M & S had a daughter that worked at La Senza and who had seen Mandyshopping the week before buying under-roos. This daughter informed her parents of the events. This armed our alien ass-kicking crew as they came in, and they asked alllllll about Brandy's purchases. Color, size, lacey or no? I shudder to think of my lucky escape from serving them!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent people involved.

The Magic Bullet

There is a new product out there people. Its call the "Magic Bullet" and it has one HOT infomercial. I fully wanted to explain the creepy joys of the advertisement of this appliance, but I feel that only my sister can do it justice. So Meghan, please comment on you're new favorite blending domestic device!




(You can buy this product online for $59.99, or probably order at 1:25 in the morning off of your tv.)

Changes

How can I dislike change so much? Moving, starting/ending school, starting/ending jobs, even holidays sometimes stress me out! Its freaking ridiculous! I find however, that I am not alone in my after school blues. Anyone else ready to admit that they miss school? Even exams? It gives one a certain sense of satisfaction, disturbing--yes--but true. Shoot me now.

Mannequin Manifestation

I've recently come to accept my fear of mannequins. Please don't deny the fact that they are a creepy substance. Mimicking the human form, lifeless eyes that follow you when you don't look, keeping their figure without having to watch what they eat! Common! They’re like alian-demon-creepsters!!! I think these fears stem from a childhood show about a department store whose mannequins came alive at night and ran around on the roof. Anyone else remember that? Also, there was a "goth" store in Ottawa I had to walk by every Sunday on the way to church with the eeriest looking mannequins in the windows. Black lipstick, purple wigs, green eye makeup, and missing their legs. (Amy, you got my back on that one?) Also, that new Levis commercial with the mannequins stalking the man who bought the jeans it was wearing is freaky!!! Point and case, I have explicable reasons to fear mannequins, if not sensible.

Things at Night I Don't Like

1) Waitresses who call you: Hun, Babe, Sweetie, or any version thereof.
2) Itchy alergy eyes
3) Killing ignorant mice on the highway (sorry Stewart Little!)

Things I like at Night

1) The street cleaners are out and they make it smell like rain.
2) You can see into the top room of a house on 8th where they have florecent lighting shining on some plants. I'm pretty sure its a grow op. Although I might just be saying that because I like to say grow op.
3) I don't have to work with the floozies in the lounge (they are seriously blond...soooo very blond).

Black Vinyl Buttoned Down Booths.

I recently emailed my Grandma about a new apartment I might move into that was renovated in the 50's. The kitchen has vinyl booths for seats. I loved her reply so much I thought I'd post it.

That gingerbread house place sounds lovely. Very 50's. Vinyl was big then, in
fact on my first date with Wilf we went to the Morris Cafe where every booth
was covered in black vinyl and buttoned down. The jute box belting out
whatever song you wished it to convey to your sweetheart. (for a nickel) We
had been to a movie ( for a quarter...each of course!)We had stopped at the
cafe because that is what you did after a movie. To have a soda mixed at the
soda fountain, they offered different flavours. Life was simple in those days.

Every so often I decide that I must have been born in the wrong era.

Unemployed

Todays complaint: I have no job. Nor can I find a job in this stupid town. I would like some job suggestions. At this point, i'm open to anything...especially funny suggestions. (Please note: pole dancing, although amusing, has already been suggested numerous times.)