mononucleosis

I have mono. What the hell! Remember the time I was sick for a month and couldn't stop sleeping and everyone kept asking "do you think you might have mono?" and my beautifully stuborn reply was always "no" or "maybe, but who cares." Indeed. Remember the other time that i poked my self really hard in the spleen and was bustled off to the er for 3 hours in case i ruptured it? Another good time.

So to all this I say, hey everyone I'm fine! And thanks to those amazing people in my life who care enought to make me go to the doctor or sit and wait in the hospital with me for extended hours.

I think another main concern that must be addressed is "how did i get mono?" Keep your suggestions clean as my dad reads this, but I think some HEXcellent mocking is needed.

WAYS I GOT MONO:

1) Making out with Jeff
2) Drinking out of someone elses glass
3) eating off of dirty plates at work (this has never happened)
4) licking door handles