ODD

Couldn't sleep, so decided to bless you all with some pictures off the internet (not the dirty kind). Here are some decidedly odd pictures.





This guy here is spelling ODD in sign language (or is just trying to scoop a fly out of the air).


And here we have a YARN burger (tastey!)



The creepy blue spot was entitled "DR. CHALLIS" which I found amusing...the doctor is in.



And his little fellas name is "pooduck." And I'm pretty sure that's all I need to say about him.






And here we have Jesus blessing a semi. Don't pretend this isn't a beautiful velvent piece of art...because it isn't.

Most recent creeper

This comment was recently put on my blog

"Anonymous said...

I may of found a bunny hug it was around christmas time. And I think it might be yours. Do you have a address to mail it to?"

To this I say, anonymous, you are a bit of a creeper. Although I would guess you are from Saskatchewan--as you use the term "bunny hug"--my deductive skills tell me nothing else about who you are (other than you're current creep factor, which is sitting at about an 8.5 on the 10 point scale). So I chose not to post my address for anyone on the internet to see for this fact, and the fact that I don't know how cool this so called "bunny hug" could be if I didn't even notice it was gone. It could be any sweater really, one of those Mr. Rogers elbow patched things, or one of those huge-yarned creamy brownish articles, or your mom! So although it was nice of you to think of me, you should probably stop posting creepy comments without your name on them (although I'm sure you're a very nice person).

Standing

In all reality, it takes very little to upset people---people like me. Take standing for example.

See: People standing
1) directly outside doors
2) at the top of stairs
3) at the bottom of escalators
4) in large circular clumps in the middle of small hallways
5) ineffectively in line (when you're behind them and they politely let others in front of themselves

So to any of you U of S students out there who participate in these incessantly agitating practices, you should probably stop before I beat you.

Picture Time!

I was pretty sure everyone else was as facinated with my life as I am, so I'm posting a bunch of HOT pictures. Included are one picture of andrea and I bowling and a bunch of ski trip pictures over new years (in Whitefish Montana). (Please note that Amy IS INDEED making out with a mustard bottle in the one pic)

James Pepler

James Pepler is a funny guy. He writes for the campus news paper, and it is the only thing worth reading in that damned paper. A sampling of his humor for all you folks out there:

Guess what? The bus sucks!

Written by James Pepler

Thursday, 12 January 2006

"Do you want to know what I hate? Of course you do. The bus, I hate the bus. For reasons beyond my control I now rely on this terrible mode of transportation to get me from school and back. Why such hatred for an environmentally acceptable system, you ask? Good question reader. Firstly, because that whole environment argument is a load of crap. Ask anyone on the bus if, given a new car, they would still take the bus. Hell no, they wouldn’t. They’d leave the bus-goers behind in a cloud of polluted dust. Secondly, because the Saskatoon bus system sucks ass. Now, I’ve lived in Calgary, Montreal, and Japan, not to mention visited other bustling metropolitan centers, all of which have far better city transit systems. Trying to get anywhere on the bus takes an hour or more. Good reasoning too for a city that spends half of the year in winter. “I know, let’s set up a chaotic and inefficient transit system that makes the people wait in the cold until they die.” Hmm, actually that might not be a bad way to weed out the elderly and the homeless. But it sucks for the young productive Peter and tireless Tammy of Saskabush. I work at the Willows Golf and Snobbery Club. Do you think a bus goes out there? Heck no, and why should it? If you can afford to golf, you can afford a car. Lastly and most importantly, I hate the bus atmosphere. Everyone is packed in like sardines, breathing everyone else’s breath, and trying to look around while avoiding eye contact with the others. I’m not sure why, but people on the bus piss me off too. For example, I saw a student on the bus, frantically going over her notes with whiteout, highlighter, and ruler on the start of the third day. The third fucking day! Can anyone say future control-freak-workaholic? Maybe she just made me feel lazy? Whatever. I’m not exempt from this bias either. When I’m on the bus I hate myself too. I hate getting on the bus and having every eye on the bus stare at you, wondering if you’ll sit next to them and disrupt their safety zone. I hate having nothing to look at except heart-wrenching or gruesome charity ads on the bus. And most of all, I hate having to pay $2.25 each way when I could be using it for my lip balm addiction. All this hatred may stem from some traumatic bus experiences I had when I was younger and full of silly bus-related delusions of grandeur. One event I recall, too vividly, was when I took the wrong bus and ended up on the wrong side of town with only one other passenger on the bus. I was like ten years old and he kept asking me if I’d go to Hollywood with him. Then his crazy really came out and he started screaming/singing, “This bus is going to Hollywood,” over and over again, right in my face. Another time, this woman struck up a conversation about how she had a career as a baby-maker and everything that it entailed; I was eight. Lastly, my twin and I played a game to see who could gross the other out more on the bus. He licked the bus floor. I wrapped my tongue around the ding string and moistened most of it. I won. I dare anyone to give me some good reasons for taking the bus or why our bus system is good. Maybe to meet people? “Hi there, so you can’t afford a car either, that’s cool.” Ewww. Sorry to say it folks, the only people that want to ride the bus are crazy people so they have someone to harass or the homeless so they have somewhere to sleep during the day. After a term of taking the bus, my only hope is that I can maintain this hatred of the bus and not become dulled or accustomed to its failings." I'm considering starting up my own official fan club...maybe pinning some photos on my walls, sending him love mail with lip chap tucked lovingly inside...any other creepy suggestions would be welcomed.

Pangertations

8:30 am is way too early to be dealing with people this ignorant...especially professors. I am currently taking a government policy class. This is very cool in some ways because I think politics are fascinating. So today the prof decides to go over the parties and the major issues each is dealing with. She says at the beginning of the class "I'm not here to lead you're decisions at all...I'm just stating facts." Facts my ass!!!!! I would like to quote a few lines from her lecture, I think you'll enjoy them. I know I almost walked out of class.

"The Conservatives believe in bringing Biblical traditions back around. The Bible says women, who were cut from Adams rib, were created to serve all men. It also says that women are supposed to stay at home, cook and clean. All conservatives want is for the women to stay at home, that's why they are giving them childcare money."

I don't even know where to begin! First and foremost, I like how she threw the part about the rib in to make it look like she was quoting the bible verbatim and thus had a clue what she was talking about (she didn't). Second, I'm pretty sure the Bible says both guys and girls are supposed to serve everyone, and I don't think God was talking about dinner. Also, $100 a month for kids under 6 is money in the pocket, is she's so pro-choice, she should suck it up and be happy she can make another one on how to spend the cash. What a gong show!

But it doesn't stop there folks, she went on to start bashing Americans (I'm a little surprised my head didn't light on fire, she is so ignorant, and these students just sit there lapping it up. For the sweet love of all that is good people, use that brain in your skulls for once and think for yourself.) She says:

"The Conservatives believe (like Bush) that there are evil forces in the world ready to attack us" (is she referring to the boogie man, demons, or the terrorists with guns? Perhaps all three) ..."so these groups feel the need for strong military forces."

Wow, can you believe that? Harper wants a military, I'm pretty sure everyone should protest against protection (although her mom probably disagrees).

So what does pangertations have to do with anything? Well, those are anger heart palpitations, and I feel as though i'll be dealing with allot of those in the upcoming classes. The one redeeming point?...at least she's not a Socialist.

post christmas blues

The excitment of holidays are over and i'm stuck in a house with 3 cats watching Dr Phil...I feel so empty! I would like some suggestions on how to spice up the January blues. Things along the lines of:

1) build a bomb out of hot dogs, cabbages, and energizer batteries
2) start stalking a random stranger
3) attempt to learn a language by speaking to friends in strange accents
4) continue to piss people off by disagreeing with their political oppinions on the upcoming election. (so far comments like "I love Bush" and "free the guns" have worked fairly well)

Anyother suggestions would be welcomed as these may entertain me only for a short period of time.

De-ballification

So, pretty sure I have allot of good xmas stories, but I'm going to hit you with a cat one, because its funny, offensive, and funny. Pedro got de-balled this Christmas, but not by a real vet (cause that's WAY too expensive, like, 25$ per ball), but the deed was done by my Dad. He's done it lots before, an experienced rancher. So my cousin and him get Pedro all wrapped up, do the deed, and look for the left overs. But they can't find the balls! Decision=Doug, Pedro's brother, ate them. Shocked and horrified (and laughing), they leave Pedro to lick his wounds (quite literally). However, upon closer inspection today, Dad and I find that Pedro may have lost one ball, but the other was soundly intact. That's right, a botched castration. How'd you like them apples? My question? Will this still stop the incesent humping? I'll be sure to let you know.