single forever?

I'm a pretty funny individual...laid back, mind like a mouse trap, not physically deformed. So occasionally the question "why am I single?" has crossed my mind. And I finally figure it out.

It's because I never continue those forwards.

Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. They start out so nice, making lovely promises such as:

"copy and send this to your
whole list and in five mins your true love will call or
message you. Tonight at midnight your true love will
realize they like you."

But then the threats start in, like:

"Repost this in 11 mins or something bad will happen to you! "

or something more drastic, such as:

"Send this to 98 people in 2.5 seconds or you will never find true love (and you're mother will come down with leporsy, you're prized childhood toy, the yo-yo, will be lost forever, and you'll die)"

I know everyone has stressed about it a little...reading those vicious, emotional threats and worrying they may somehow be true. Well I think we all need to sit down, take a deep breath, and realise they were true, and the curse is working. Ohhhh no no no, I know those of you with significant others may think your safe...you're not. The forward curse will get you! Like a bad case of genital herpies...you can never get rid of it! So to all of you still-hopeful romantics, remember as Valentines day approaches, that you're doomed. Doomed beyond all recongnition.

(DISCLAIMER: I have accepted my curse, and realised that nothing will change. So should you! This post does not give you the right to shamelessly begin forwarding me threating curse emails.)